I have rediscovered My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers. More often than not, this little devotional book has something specific to say to me. There was a particular thought that stood out to me in today's reading:
"What does it matter if external circumstances are hard? Why should they not be! If we give way to self-pity and indulge in the luxury of misery, we banish God's riches from our own lives and hinder others from entering into His provision. No sin is worse than the sin of self-pity, because it bliterates God and puts self-interest upon the throne. It opens our mouths to spit out mumurings and our lives become craving spiritual sponges, there is nothing lovely or generous about them."
I have found this to be true in my life recently. I am so worried about everything going on around me that I have forgotten that the life I have chosen is one of self-denial. I don't say that with pride, that's just how I believe life is to be lived. Unfortunately, I have a tendency to allow what's going on in other peoples' lives, situations at church, my past, etc. to get in the way of pouring my energies out for other people. There are little windows in the day where I realize how destructive this is. I get to a point where I am checking and re-checking my e-mails hoping that a message from someone will be the piece of information I need to turn things around. "Maybe I'll read something profound, maybe I'll get a call, maybe someone will stop by my office" and on and on. I guess John Mayer would say I'm waiting on the world to change. The truth is that I have been given the tools to initiate change in the world. I can't realize this if I'm always worried about my petty problems.
I've got to find my way out of this "feeling sorry for myself" rut. It's paralyzing. I'm not being the man I should be. I'm not loving people like I should. I am self-absorbed and whiny and am absolutely disgusted with what I see in myself.
If I take a hard look at my life, there is absolutely nothing to feel sorry for. There is nothing to complain about. There is nothing that should absorb my energies for other people. Plus, there's a lot that needs to be done around me and a lot of responsibilty rests on my shoulders to help get the work done.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Amen Mr. Reed! Whenever "the self" becomes the main object of our affection fulness of life will evade us. As Jesus said, in order to find our life we must first lose it.
The irony (or inversion) of this principle is fasinating. In a world that instructs self-reflection and indulgence in order to "find ourselves" and bring true meaning to our existence, we find the opposite taking place. The more we search "inside ourselves" for meaning the farther away we run from the Person who gives life.
A worship of self (which rears its ugly head in self-pity) will always result in the death of the very thing we are trying to save, our soul.
Good post brother... keep them coming
Post a Comment